Caring for Ageing Parents in Nigeria When You Live Abroad

“How is Mummy?”

“She said she's fine.”

For families separated by countries, that can sometimes be the entire health update.

You may know your parent went to the hospital on Tuesday without knowing what the doctor said. A sibling has a photo of one prescription. Someone else knows the name of the new medication. The hospital card is somewhere at home. And when you ask your parent how they're doing, the answer is still:

“I'm fine.”

You cannot manage a parent's health from another country, nor should every phone call become a medical interrogation.

What you can do is make sure the important information doesn't live in six different people's heads.

A simple system can make appointments easier to follow, reduce confusion around medication and help the family respond faster when something changes.

Here's what that system should contain.

1. One Health Record Everyone Can Find

Start with one document.

It doesn't need to be sophisticated. A shared Google Doc, spreadsheet, secure note or clearly organised physical folder can work.

At minimum, record your parent's:

• diagnosed medical conditions
• previous major surgeries
• known allergies
• regular medications
• usual hospital
• doctors or specialists they see regularly
• HMO or insurance information
• emergency contacts

If your mother has hypertension, diabetes and arthritis, for example, you shouldn't have to reconstruct that history from WhatsApp messages every time she sees a new doctor.

Keep the record somewhere the people who may actually accompany her to hospital can access it.

And update it when something changes.

2. Keep the Medication List More Useful Than “The Small White One”

Medication becomes particularly difficult to follow from another country.

Ask for the actual details:

Medication name Dose How often it is taken Why it was prescribed Who prescribed it

A clear list becomes more important when a parent sees several doctors or takes medication for multiple conditions.

If possible, update the record whenever a prescription changes rather than waiting until the next health problem.

And don't remotely tell a parent to stop, increase or replace prescribed medication based on something you read online. Medication changes should be discussed with the appropriate healthcare professional.

3. Know Their Hospital Before You Need It

An emergency is a bad time for siblings in three countries to start debating which hospital Dad normally uses.

Keep the practical details somewhere accessible:

• hospital name
• address
• main telephone number
• relevant doctor or specialist
• HMO details
• hospital or patient number, where applicable
• local emergency contact

Also think about logistics.

Who can physically take your parent there?

What transport is available?

Who lives close enough to accompany them if something happens at night?

Those questions are mundane until the day they're urgent.

4. Ask Better Questions Than “Are You Fine?”

Parents don't always report changes in the language their children expect.

Someone may genuinely say they're fine while also admitting that they no longer use the stairs because their knee hurts.

So occasionally ask about function, not just illness.

Can they still walk the distance they normally would?

Are they managing the stairs?

Can they get in and out of bed comfortably?

Are they bathing and using the bathroom independently?

Have they stopped going somewhere they used to go regularly?

Have they fallen recently?

Are they avoiding movement because of joint or back pain?

Changes in everyday ability can reveal something that “How are you feeling?” doesn't.

5. Take Falls Seriously, Even When Nothing Appears Broken

If your parent tells you they fell, find out what happened.

Did they trip?

Were they dizzy beforehand?

Did they lose balance?

Did a knee or hip give way?

Did they hit their head?

Could they get up themselves?

Have they fallen before?

A single fall may have an obvious explanation. Repeated or unexplained falls deserve more attention, particularly if mobility has changed afterwards.

Related article: Falls in Older Adults: Why They Matter and How to Reduce the Risk

6. Don't Let Appointments End With “The Doctor Said I'm Fine”

Where possible, keep a simple record after important appointments:

• why the appointment happened
• what the clinician found or explained
• tests requested
• results received
• medication changes
• follow-up date
• anything the family needs to arrange

This doesn't mean demanding your parent's private medical information or joining every consultation by video call.

The aim is much simpler: if a doctor says, “Come back in three months,” somebody should know when those three months are up.

A missed follow-up can easily happen when Mum thinks your sister is handling it, your sister thinks your brother has it covered, and everybody assumes someone else wrote down the date.

7. Choose a Local Point Person

Someone needs to be able to physically show up.

That might be a sibling, cousin, family friend, neighbour or caregiver your parent trusts.

The person doesn't have to manage everything. But ideally, they should know:

• where the medical information is kept
• which hospital your parent uses
• how to contact the family
• where HMO or insurance information is kept
• what to do if your parent needs help getting to hospital

For siblings living abroad, agreeing on this person in advance can prevent frantic coordination later.

8. Make an Emergency Plan Before There Is an Emergency

Write down what should happen if your parent suddenly needs medical care.

Who gets called first?

Which hospital should they be taken to?

Who can accompany them?

How will they get there?

Where are their identification and HMO details?

Who has access to money for immediate expenses if necessary?

Which family members need to be informed?

You don't need a complicated emergency protocol.

You need to remove decisions that nobody should be making for the first time while frightened and under pressure.

9. Decide Who Owns the Follow-Up

This is the piece I'd add to the original article because it's where family systems often break down.

After a hospital visit, someone should own the next action.

If Mum needs a blood test next week, who is arranging it?

If Dad has a follow-up appointment in three months, who has put it on the calendar?

If medication is running low, who checks that it gets refilled?

If the doctor requests an X-ray, who confirms it was actually done?

You don't need one sibling to become the family's unpaid case manager.

You do need clarity about who is handling each next step.

A Simple Health Checklist for Parents in Nigeria

Keep this information somewhere accessible:

Medical information

• Current diagnoses
• Previous major surgeries
• Allergies
• Medication list

Healthcare

• Usual hospital
• Doctors/specialists
• Upcoming appointments
• Outstanding tests/results
• HMO or insurance details

Day-to-day changes

• Mobility
• Recent falls
• Significant changes in appetite, behaviour or usual activities
• New or worsening symptoms

Emergency plan

• Local point person
• Hospital details
• Transport plan
• Identification/HMO documents
• Family contacts

Then set a reminder to update it periodically rather than creating it once and forgetting about it.

You Can Support Their Healthcare Without Trying to Control It

Living abroad can make it tempting to compensate for distance by trying to know everything.

That isn't realistic.

Your parent is still an adult with autonomy over their healthcare. Your role may be organising information, paying for care, asking useful questions, coordinating appointments or simply making sure someone trustworthy can be there when you cannot.

A good system doesn't eliminate the distance.

It makes the distance less chaotic when something happens.

Looking for Medical Care for an Older Parent in Ibadan?

Banby Specialist Hospital provides medical and specialist care from Akobo, Ibadan, for patients across different stages of life, including older adults.

The hospital provides services across internal medicine, cardiology, orthopaedics, neurology, ophthalmology and other medical and surgical specialties, with laboratory, X-ray, ultrasound and other hospital services available on-site.

If your parent needs medical assessment or specialist care, contact Banby to arrange an appointment or ask which service is appropriate for their needs.

Book an Appointment

Call Banby Specialist Hospital

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Related health guides

• Arthritis in Older Adults: When Should Joint Pain Be Checked?
• Falls in Older Adults: Why They Matter and How to Reduce the Risk